Lately I haven't been very active (not here, where is common, but in lots of places I am in), and I feel the need to work on more extreme stuff.
But anyway, I keep projects coming and that's something, and I am about to have my first "modeling birthday". And I honestly think that coming from the point "0" I have achieved a lot.
I am waiting for the pics from a shoot I made more than a month ago, but the photographer is too busy, so I'll show you in a couple of weeks =)
I have been thinking lately about the "true" metal stuff. What is really
to be "true"? If you only listen to metal and wear spikes they call you poser; if you like other stuff and dress whatever you like, they call you fake, and lots of examples could be.
I don't approve fanatism, not at all, not in religion, not in polytics, and not in music or lifestyle.
Some years ago you could like metal and act however you wanted, but right now it's kinda alarming how they can watch you and either say you are a kind person, so you can't listen to extreme stuff becaus that's for agressive people, or state that you are evil, "just like all those fucking satanic bastards".
I am aware that this could offend someone, but I felt the need to say it. I personally think that metal could be and could not be a lifestyle. It's a music anyone could like, and some of the styles called "metal" (which are actually VERY different from one to another) have certain message on their music, and a lifestyle behind it. The look, the thoughts...
For example, I like some kinds of ambient music, and sometimes I would like to listen to it, while I am lying on a bunch of pillows, with the windows opened and incense burning. And that doesn't mean I want to go hippie, live in the forest or go vegetarian.
People don't compare a writer's personality with what she story characters do, they don't insult a pop singer for singing about love and being a playboy in his real life.
I persnoally like extreme metal (black and death), wearing spikes and black clothing, taking bloody pictures on the photo shoots, going into the mosh pit and feeling the power of the people at a brutal concert.
I also like puting on extra long fetish heels, huging my little sister, wearing make up to feel prettier...
I hate cheesy stuff, typical teenagers movies, the discussions like "I love you-I love you
mooooreeee-no, I love you more!!! (etc.)".
I hate cheap violence (I could be agressive in certain situations, but just "being bad because it's cool" it something absolutely gross). I hate snuff, is someone wants to cut his/her own arm, ok, but never do it to someone who does not want to.
This is a resume of myself, I don't want to act as I am who I am not. I like metal, extreme metal specially, and I feel comfortable with the aggresive look, but I am a person, I am a girl and as most of them I like looking good and stuff like that.
I am not a girl who gets close with musicians to feel she's part of the band; when I was little I started studying music, my first instrument was the contrabass. I left music because I wa
s a stupid kid who wanted to do everything and after complaining for a couple of months, I started crying the same day I left, because I wanted to go back. Then I was 8. When I was 14, I started playing bass and taking from time to time my mother's guitar. When 18 I went to a few guitar lessons and singing.
I don't want to state myself as a music expert, in fact, I don't practice so I could sound pretty much like crap if you heard me playing. I just wanted to say that I really would like to be part of a metal band, I can kinda growl (still need lots of practice). I am not a groupie, I just like modeling and metal stuff, so I became a metal/alternative model; and I would really like to work on covers, merchandise stuff, etc. Not to lick anyone's butt, but to feel like I am doing something I enjoy.
Well, here I leave a couple of pictures, the first is from a fetish shoot with Daniel Poza, the second one is with Sivali D'Lirium, for the Jane in Peril contest in deviantart, started by Shadowyzman,
creator of the character.